So, I was heading to the grocery store to buy new pants when I pulled up to the intersection right before it and this dog pulled up in his fancy fast car. Now, typically I drive my Corolla very conservatively but, every now and again, I’ll roll a stop sign, just for the thrill.
This dog winds his window down, and starts barkin’ all these words at me. I may not speak canine, but I know when someone (or some animal) is trash talking me!
He said he bet he could turn his car off and push it, and STILL beat me in a race. Although I prefer to baby my lil’ Bernadette (my Corolla’s name), I agreed to a race.
And that, is how I ended up at the track, drag racing a dog. He flipped me the paw as he did a burn out and left me in the dust. Easily the most embarrassing day of my life. Even after my mother handed me my ointment in the middle of my choir concert as I was doing my Wind Beneath My Wings solo.